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Movies: Dead Snow & the local Theatre

     Before I get to my Movie Review there are a couple things I need to get off of my chest. First has to be the recent over-saturation of the Zombie Genre. Don't get me wrong out of all of the horror movies in my DVD collection about half of them incidentally are Zombie related. I love Zombies, whether they Shamble, shuffle, or run, but lately they have become soo popular, that I cannot go anywhere without running into some form of zombie related merchandise. Lately I am becoming Indifferent and hoping that this popularity has peaked and the media will not take it that one step further, killing the genre all together.

     Oct 30th I was invited to go see Dead Snow at the local G*****D Theatre. I grew up and for many years it was the best place to go because the movies shown there only cost a dollar. In the last 9 years I have seen the prices rise, but it was understandable, due to recent times. The Theatre is still larger than all the current miniplexs that surround Spokane, and I didn't have to debate whether I spend my money paying rent or see a film. The reason why I left out it's name? Because while the film was great the experience was Horrible.

     I have been warned before that the G*****D has recently charged people to see a DVD of certain films on their screen. (sometimes in
Full screen). While I question the Legality of this, I also feel cheated. Film and sound Quality is different on DVD. It feels like Its my Birthday and My parents Promise me He-Man is Coming to my party. I am all sorts of Excited, until I find out He-man is My Neighbor in a costume.

     Although It did not have a menu (Which a friend of ours was treated to when he went there to see Aliens) A DVD is what we got. Before the film, they fiddled with the size, shape, colors, and sound. They played out scenes, rewound them, paused and stopped. When it came ready to start the film, they had yet figured out how to get the sound to work. About 1/3rd into the movie, just as my friend and I were to ask for our money back, sound was restored. Instead of restarting the film, whomever upstairs shrugged it off and let it finish.

     To alieviate tension one of the Patrons read off the subs while there was no sound. Many of the attendance roared with laughter. Some of those who came to watch the movie Boo'd, cursing at him to shut up and cursing the projectionist who didn't seem to know what they were doing...

Once everything was working and good The Rest was Great::

Dead Snow

     Aw man, It was great to be treated to a Foreign film on 2 of my favorite subjects... snow and young people. I keed, I keed. I know Nazi's and Zombies are not new subjects, and this film is not original, but this film is not based directly on any movie, book, tv show, comic, etc that most of the American Market is flooded with. The story is great, the effects are top notch and it has that perfect blend of Horror/comedy reminiscent of an old Sam Raimi Film. 

     Now and days The term Zombie has been thrown around. Now and days Zombies can be intelligent, run, shuffle, stalk, talk, be living and/or undead. (one time they even voted) Since Romero They all have done one similar thing: Eat People. Now to me The Dead Snow Zombies are more like Ghouls. More supernatural than rotting corpses. They stay well dressed. They use weapons. They can move. plan and outflank the young campers.

     The World of Dead Snow is not ignorant of previous zombie movies. However even though Erlend (one of the campers) brings up multiple zombie Cliches that he remembers from all the movies he saw, the Creatures seem to ignore most of them. The Best Scene deals with Zombie bites.

In the end I couldn't help, but to cheer the zombies on. I know it's cruel and Nazis are worse, but eh its a movie.

If you want a Synopsis I suggest looking at It's
Wikipedia Page. WARNING: Huge Spoilers


Sentai Otaku: Ripped From the Headlines

Hello again,

Today I received another Post From the The Bizzare Alien With Promises of the Current Status of the Sentai Otaku. Currently We are Moving to a new Base of Operations, So Mind the mess:

What is and who are or why is "The Sentai Otaku"? Much like an urban legend or a myth from the past, stories have leaked far and wide about this strange group of individuals . It is said that they began as a small group of movie and anime/animation obsessed 'otakus' that eventually took their love of films and animation too the next level by becoming self-described super heroes and took too the streets fighting against evil, or what they perceived as 'evil' from their perspectives . The group had around 5 or 6 people at first but as time went by, The Sentai Otaku found it's ranks dwindling as one member disappeared and came back a married man with a child and too this day embarrassed too even admit he was even a part of this strange group! Another member who spent more time online playing the infamous game World War 4: Deathcrap ended up meeting someone and moved straight across the country and is now the leader of a larp cult and proud of stepdad of 12 children! The others quit just because, as they've quoted, "We're embarrassed!"  So as time went by, the group became a duo consisting of the now legendary Otaku-Rider and The Killer Otaking . Known for their great dvd collections, colorful sentai costumes, strange demure and outrageous fighting moves and attitudes , these fighters of justice have been rumored too be somewhere in space these days on their X-777 Kusanasika-Shiro battlecruiser battling evil amongst the stars! Will they return? Our Earth is in danger! Will The Sentai Otaku come back too their beloved world! All we can do is pray for their success in their battles against evil and their safe return too Earth! We also pray that their navigator will NOT pose for Hot Dudes magazine ever again!
With respect and adoration,
Nalfgor Starblazert = 10th level black Orc mag and anime fan
Earth 10/20/09

LIFE: OMG I Made A Post!

Here I am with my life update. I know I posted larger entries without making a cut but this one might have some content that may be inappropriate for the younger viewers who SHOULD NOT be reading this. Also may offend those sensitive to foul language, religion, and body parts...

LIFE: OMG I Made A Post! The Sequal

My last Post was Too large So here is part 2:

July. I was given the opportunity by the Bryant twins to join them on an arousing adventure into the forest. I hadn't truly been camping for years. Tents, fire, and stink, not Motor homes, gas stoves, and cabins. Man being Man with Nature quivering in fear. I agreed, and nature kicked my butt. For the last 6-7 years I kinda
let myself go, becoming more softer, more pregnant. Squishy. About 1/3rd of the way up hill I wanted to die, about 2/3rds I seriously debated if it was a good idea to lie down and hoped a Bear would put me out of my misery. I refused to give up. That is the one thing I really hate about myself... I'm stubborn. Once we made it to the top I let myself recover whilst we ate foods and marshmallows over the gaslight. I may have persevered, but do not be proud of my endeavor. I was the only one in our little group wheezing and puffing on a 5 foot incline.

We hiked quite a bit & exchanged Campsites two times. Finally settled down at our current campsite.


Life: I'm alive!!!!

I sorta fell off the face of the earth... I tend to do that sometimes.

My explanation?

I was busy. THE END.

Actually I plan on making a larger post after this one wif pictures. This way I can be a lazy B@$t@rd and not have type 12 weeks worth of stuff.

I wanted to post a little early because I fulfilled a life's wish of mine. I saw this guy Live:

All I can say? It Was Awesome!! I'll go into more detail later, but for right now I'm just going to bask in the glow. The guy even stopped his act to rant off about the Inlander (a local paper) and how he hoped whoever interviewed him was there so he could shove his mic where I dare not say. 

LIFE: Personal Stuff

Apparently I have a few readers but not very many posters. I only find this out because I was physically contacted by such people, who tell me WTF!? or "why don't you mention insert life/family event here." It's not that I am insane, or a family hating bastard, its just I don't really want to talk that much about my personal life on the web. I like to keep that part of me slightly separate. It's not that I use the net to lead a double life, I just don't think everyone needs to know that I am sad and in need of a taco while I am on the toilet, or show 200 pictures of my family to those who don't care, and will try to photoshop a wiener into my mouth & ask me to show my T*Ts or GTFO.

Like most things on the net I get curious. I had a myspace(past tense), I have a twitter acct (I don't use it) and I have a facebook (I haven't been there since December) I like to see what the hubub is about. I play with it. I get bored of it, and I abandon it. Just like this Livejournal* most of them are filled with half-truths, but mostly fiction. Why? because I have a horrible sense of humor & love to satirize myself.

*I don't really think I'll abandon this as I need a place to spout off words and garbage.

All seriousness aside Get off My Lawn!!!!
Creating internets on a texas instrument calculator

Non Fiction: Sentai Otaku Part 1

     Yesterday while basking in the Afterglow of not eating lunch I received an email from my Bro from a different Mo (first and last time I use Pop culture abreviations) It made me both Laugh and hold my fist tightly in front of my face. This comes straight from the Brain and Fingers of BCA "The Killer Otaking!":

March 2009

The Killer Otaking and Otakurider, both members of the secret organization that everyone knows about, The Senati Otaku a.k.a. Battlesuit Honorable House were found guilty by fellow team member Toga-Tsu of contaminating his abode! When leaving( ie. peacefully being kicked out! ) Toga-Tsu told reporters his 'home smelled like shit!" followed by a wine and cheese reception, The K.O. and Otaku R. were NOT invited too the festivities! Following htis news story, Shirtless Man vowed a 'coup' on The Sentai Otaku even tho he is a member! In the meantime, Egoman J-Reet is still playing Guild Wars and Irishman Scott is contemplating a new tattoo! More news at 11:00

"Those guys are nuts man! I was just saying how I thought the live action Dragonball film looks awesome and people should just open their minds, when these freaks in crazy costumes attacked me and my friends!! Thank goodness my poky and ho-ho's weren't crushed! I'm going home and playing W.O.W. for a few hours!"

ain't It Cool News sez, "These guys are SICK!!!!!"

When writing him back I added:

When Questioned Otakurider was quoted as saying “UWAHHHHHH!!! Ish!”

 followed by a roundhouse kick and mild complaints that his groin hurt afterwards!!!!

I then asked him If I could post this. His Response:

"Tales from The Sentai"* starring The Otakurider, The Killer Otaking and Egoman )  3/25/09 by Carlos Montana


Earth, once a place where people lived uncomfortably among one another until the great war that spread across the world thanks too the irresponsiblities of mankind's selfish greed resulted in a major catastrophe of world war 5 thanks too an endless list of the usual poop!

Here we are in the year 2035 at the secret headquarters of the esteemed heroic group, The Sentai Otaku based in the destroyed city of Spokane,Washington .

Inside the fortress, The Killer Otaking is posing in front of a mirror wearing his viking helmet/mask and a pair of Catwoman underwear, gazing upon his refection and in a booming voice, "I shall destroy thee evil swine with the power of The Sentai Otakuuuuuuuuu!!!!" . Down the hallway, The Otakurider's fist is held up too his face with a menacing pose as he too, gazes upon his own reflection and in a deep voice, "Otakurider shall defeat you!" too an empty room! Suddenly an alarm goes off with the automated voice of Kusanagi Asuka's robo-voice blaring, "Attention! Attention! Enemies are outside loitering!" At that moment, The Killer Otaking and The Otakurider raise their might fists yelling, "Hai!!!!" and depart for the Sentai-garage where the Oatakurider mobile awaits! Otakurider jumps onto his motorcycles and bursts thru the hidden trapdoor as he stomps on the gas pedal! Behind him, The Killer Otaking nearly has a heart attack from running down the hall trying too catch up! "Agggggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!" he yells, his voice muffled thru the half mask on his face . Behind him, Egoman in his trench coat and fedora slowly walks up the ramp dragging behind his ego-case . "So, huh, uh what's going on? I couldn't hear anything with my headphones on! I was playin' Killwar:World of Death so wondering what's up?"

A few minutes later The Killer Otaking and Egoman come walking thru the trapdoor of the fortress out of breath but ready too fight! Around them are the corpses of obese men all dressed as
Naruto . The Otakurider claps his hands together smiling as Otaking and Ego look at each other then shrug their shoulders as The Otakurider jumps on his motorcycle and heads back into the base too finish season 20 of Rei's Magical Odyssey . The winds blows as The Killer Otaking kicks a still trembling fat man and gazes towards the mountains far away and feels the magic as a shooting star goes blazing across the northwestern skies! In his heart, he knows a great battle will soon take place here soon now!!!


"Sentai Otaku"( opening theme ) from The Sentai Otaku/Battlesuit Honorable House


"Fight fight fight!

battle! battle! battle!

kick punch somersault tonight

don't foget the past!
the future is now

don't cry! don't cry! don't be sad

feel the magic as a blazing star shoots across the night time sky!

O-Ta-Ku  O-Tak-Ku O-Ta-Ku!!!!

Sentai Otakuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!

Fight! fight! fight!

battle! battle! battle!

We will never give up

love is a mighty winged bird

together we stand

Battlesuit Honorable House

Til the enddddddddd!!!!!!!!!

O-Ta-Ku! O-Ta-Ku! O-Ta-Kuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Got your attention?

Ok the truth is I am just playing Persona 4. It's a weird RPG/Dating sim where you eventually start asking one of the girls(plural), or guy(singular), to go out with you after you complete many hours of (one sided) talking, and nodding your silent non speaking bobble head. Did I mention your character is a mute?

My first time through I decided to try and date Chie, the strong willed Bruce lee fan. At first I thought she was mine but then I found out she has been with countless others and posted all over the interwebs. I tried to confront her about this but instead of "WTF?!" my choices were "Do you like cats?" and "I Like Pie." I couldn't decide which of the two selections were harsher so I ended our fight by turning off the PS2... Like a BOSS!

Now before you start slapping and shaking your head in sheer pity, hear me out... She may think I'm into her but I am actually using her for the Murder Mystery that seems to involve me and my ingame cohorts. She may be a cheating clowncar, but she has a mean kick when fighting monsters inside of a TV.

Oh God What am I saying? What was I thinking... Oh yeah this:

I keed I keed.

Ok, ok, Being serious now... So far Persona 4 is a great game. I cannot give a true review as I have not yet finished my first play through. This already threatens to be one of my favorite RPG's. Both the Story and the gameplay have me enthralled, and even though I was convinced to buy Persona 3 (Like Final Fantasy you don't have to play Persona 1-3 to get what is going on in 4) I might put it aside to play 4 again just to do different things. (date other people, get different endings, be a D!C|<, Etc) 

My voice may change once I see the ending but at least give it a look: Official site

I know you have no interest in my choices or think the only sustenance I receive is the Cheeto dust produced from my neck beard, but here are my favorite JRPGs just to prove I am a Sad, Sad man. These are the games where I enjoyed the gameplay as well as the story. Now these are based on my own personal opinions and not ment as an ultimate list of greatest games of all time, and I bet there are a lot of others out there that are great but I may not have played. In no particular order:

Lunar Silver star/ Eternal Blue
Its past midnight I'll add more later...
EDIT: Its later and still nothing else. I guess that's it.

What No Final Fantasy? Well to tell you the truth I loved the games but I think a lot of em are overblown or have a good story with Meh gameplay (Final fantasy 7-8-10) or is Final Fantasy 12 (which I have put down 3 times now without finishing. Don't get me started.)

Quick edit

My last post still exists but I took it down due to embarrassing errors. I know I left a post up containing bad mistakes, but I wrote that entry with feeling. I tried to write my previous one using my brain and that went as well potty training a blind/deaf/one legged cat.

Quick reviews (aka stuff I currently watched/played):

Onichanbara 360:
Bikini zombie slaying wif Katanas. Plays like; Resident evil, 99nights, Dead or Alive. Fun= Yes. Buggy= Yes.

Best Student Council Anime:
Psychics, Puppets= Possible personality disorders, Comedy, Body Guards, Assasins, orphans, messed up= fun?

REC Movie:
The original version that Quarantine was remade into. Starts out cheesy but once "it" starts it stays good to the very end. Never saw Quarantine.

Persona 4 PS2:
WTF?!! So far a great RPG. This game makes you think of your actions instead of straight button mashing & combos. Build relationships, regret your actions, Etc = builds your stats. Not just bash brains to gain levels. The game doesn't give you a chance to run around aimlessly as you are limited to certain choices before you are forced to go to bed. The Weather plays a major factor. Dungeon Crawling similar to .Hack games... Done Right. Fun= Yes. Downside: contains the one cliche annoying talking animal.

Prinny I can be the hero? PSP:
This one I am a little biased on since I love Disgaea and have been jonesing for a classic side scroller Dood. Very funny, but the jokes will fall short if you havent played the Disgaea rpgs. Luckily the PSP did port the first game from the PS2 Dood.  Spoiler: Horse Wiener.

"Ok Michael... is there anything you didn't like?," you may say.  Well, Yes Because it's so Cold in the D

FOOD: Happy New Year

So I'm a little late, "fashionably late." 

I'm almost tempted to turn this into a Bacon blog with a hint of meatloaf, (Beer battered Meatloaf sammiches with thick cut bacon...) aughhhhhhgarglegargle

Okay Kids! It's time to put on your
Meat Goggles in order to fully enjoy the ride. My Blog now requires this... No exceptions. Unless you are Kosher, then I will not discriminate.

I stumbled upon
this today that both gives my arteries the shakes and my stomache quakes with happiness butterflies.

WARNING NOT FOOD: Also if you haven't already seen
this, please put your work aside and check it out for a few laughs. As my Friend Charles would say, "It's a 100% Mint to 100% Fail."

FOOD WARNING OVER : Commence visual eatings.

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